Cheriton Fitzpaine v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 17 Jul 2016 at 2.30pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 7 wickets

Match report Report by Jeff Haynes

Reporter’s Log: Stardate 17 July 2016

A new sun rose in the sky today. The old, watery sun, had been losing its energy throughout the year and the Earth seemed to be edging into darkness. However, on this Sunday a fiery new star appeared over the horizon and bathed the Devon countryside in a warmth not felt for many Earth years. Prior to this summer, and regular matches in the Cheriton T20 League, Cheriton ‘Khan’ Fitzpaine was a largely undiscovered country for many of the Errattks. Lying close to the final frontier of Mid Devon, many past players had lost their way journeying to the ground. Legends tell of a time, long ago, when a full-scale rescue was launched in the search for ‘Spock’ Molins …, but more of him later!

Captain ‘Kirk’ Wright won the toss and elected to bat. ‘Riker’ Crawford and ‘Spock’ Molins strode out to face the wrath of Khan Fitzpaine’s opening attack. It was ‘Spock’ who made first contact with the ball, but Riker was first to make double figures before succumbing to a full toss. ‘Scotty’ Krupakar (the engineer) joined ‘Spock’ and began to accumulate runs before top-edging a ball to point. At 59 for 2 the first of two drinks breaks was taken after 15 overs … yes, it really was that warm! Immediately after drinks ‘Kirk’ fell to a rare dismissal: not known for displaying a high backlift, the Errattks captain managed to dislodge a bail with his bat, the ‘Khan’ Fitzpaine fielders spotted it and appealed, and Umpire ‘Uhuru’ Heaton raised her finger. 60 for 3. “Worf’ Thistlethwaite dispatched his third ball to the boundary and the Khan fielders immediately spread out. At the other end ‘Spock’ was playing fluently until one ball crept through, staying exceptionally low, almost defying logic! ‘Spock’ Molins’ calm and rational innings of 36 had taken the Errattks to 76 for 4 with 21 overs remaining. Jean-Sid ‘Picard’ Thomson came, and went, skying the ball to the keeper, bringing ‘Bones’ Kirby to the helm. [It is believed that ‘Bones’’ nickname dates to a time when his ancestors picked up bones and started to beat regularly with them, to a Taiko rhythm, before launching them into the sky … but that’s another motion picture altogether!]. Then came the Errattks’ nemesis – the middle order batting collapse, with ‘Worf’ and Joe “Data’ Thomson departing in quick succession – both generations of Thomson sadly failing with the bat. Enter ‘Sulu’ Hailwood to join ‘Bones’ Kirby in a splendid run dash. At the second drinks break (30 overs) your reporter unintentionally misinformed Bones that he was on 25 – he was actually on 29. ‘Sulu’ went for 27 of a 60 run partnership, but ‘Chekov’ Youngman kept the other end occupied for ‘Bones’ to chase his half-century. Needing only two runs, (but no doubt thinking he needed a 6), he tried to give the penultimate ball a hefty slog and had to settle for a single, so the innings closed at 186 for 8 … and ‘Bones’ was left carrying his bat on 49!

After tea it was time for the ‘Khans’ to boldly go into bat. ‘Kirk’ opened with ‘Chekov’ bowling down the hill and your reporter bowling up it. For a while we successfully kept Foan and Waite pinned down. First change ‘Sulu’ bagged the first wicket in the ninth over: 36 for 1. Your reporter then bowled Waite, (39 for 2), before Joe ‘Data’ and ‘Scotty’ were brought into the attack, bowling at something near warp factors 5 and 2 respectively! [There was a danger of an insurrection when so many warps were signalled, but ‘Kirk’ kept the crew calm.] He still had two more (keeper/)bowlers in reserve: ‘Spock’ and ‘Bones’. When asked to be reminded how ‘Bones’ Kirby bowled, ‘Bones’ replied “like ‘Spock’ Molins … only he’s balder and better! Well today it was ‘Bones’ who took the third wicket, but he did so at slightly greater expense than ‘Spock’ who nevertheless should have had a wicket himself … showing himself to be only (half) human, he completely illogically dropped a catch off his own bowling. It went to hand, but he just couldn’t kling on to it. [If you must drop a catch, you should try always to do so off a bowler other than yourself!] Bright scored a bright 29, Carr motored to a not out 15, but it was Coe who batted with real enterprise to reach 72 not out and complete the victory for the ‘Khans’ in just over 35 overs.

As well as a new sun, the Earth today has one and a half moons. A shining, almost full moon guided us on our voyage home, after rehydration at the Half Moon in the village. With final wishes of ‘live long, and prosper’, the Errattks set off to Exeter … and Beyond!

PS There’s a new film released on Friday of this week …

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 8 wickets
Paul Molins Bowled  36
Matt Crawford Bowled  10
Jayakrupakar Nallala Caught  13
Martin Wright Hit Wicket  6
Daniel Thistlethwaite Bowled  9
Sid Thomson Caught  0
Jonathan Kirby Not Out  49
Joe Thomson Caught  5
Mark Hailwood Bowled  27
Ben Youngman Not Out  6
Jeff Haynes  

Cheriton Fitzpaine Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Cheriton Fitzpaine Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 3 wickets
189 (36.1 overs)

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Ben Youngman5.001300.002.60
Jeff Haynes8.0225125.003.12
Mark Hailwood5.2131131.005.81
Joe Thomson4.002300.005.75
Jayakrupakar Nallala7.003600.005.14
Paul Molins3.001500.005.00
Jonathan Kirby4.0037137.009.25