Scorecard

Mount Edgcumbe v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 11 May 2025 at 2.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Won

Match report It began, as these things often do, with a coin toss. The Erratics, held together more by tea and tolerance than training, won the toss and elected to bat. A brave choice, always, for it reveals an optimism, much like entering a pub quiz with only a packet of crisps and blind confidence in your own GCSEs.
Enter Duncan Chave and Martin Wright. Now if you were to sum up Wright’s innings in one word, you’d probably choose “brief”. If you had two words, “sprint regret” would suffice. Run out for 2, Wright later confessed he “couldn’t not go for the second run after dawdling the first”. Nevertheless, he left the field to applause, to be replaced by Matt Crawford who made a tidy 23 with four assertive boundaries. But his real contribution came before he’d even faced a ball, when he confessed he was only batting third because, and I quote, “everyone else seemed to reject it”. One can only imagine the pre-match strategy meeting:
“Any volunteers for three?”
[awkward silence]
“Matt, you’re in”
Crawford accepted his fate with the stoic resignation typically reserved for Ryanair boarding queues and indeed shared many of the same emotions: confusion, discomfort, and the vague sense your luggage is in Poland. He went out to play a very decent knock indeed before drinks until Chave’s demise came via Sandeep – LBW, that cryptic mode of dismissal which occupies the shadowy hinterland between cricketing certainty and a coin flip in the umpire’s frontal lobe. This was closely followed by Crawford being bowled by Sandeep, who was beginning to exhibit worrying signs of competence. Lee Grant added a dignified 16 and then was caught off Ware’s ball by what could only be described as Inspector Gadget. We say this not to insult the fielder, Chaudhary, but to describe the sheer anatomical implausibility of the catch. His arms telescoped, bent at improbable angles, snapped the ball out of mid air like a claw machine operated by divine intervention.
Things then took a modest downturn when captain Chris Cook, despite later heroics with the ball, contributed the least heroic number known to cricket: a duck, courtesy of Sandeep. Ducks, for the uninitiated, are like parking tickets—you don’t plan for them, but they happen with cruel frequency and always when someone’s watching. We won’t dwell though; we’ve got a match report to write and there’s no need to kick a man while he’s metaphorically feathered.
Fraser Chave delivered a wonderfully fluent 23. There is something deeply pleasing about Fraser at the crease, a sort of gentle inevitability like uncles making Brexit comments at Christmas. He found gaps, timed his strokes, and made it all look agreeably nonchalant before a fantastic catch by Rohit at cover off Brijesh’s bowling.
And then there was Tiwari, who strolled to the crease with the easy confidence of a man who knows which end of the bat is which and suspects he might also know what to do with it. He carved out a stylish 27, all silk and sharp angles, and treated the crowd to the only six of the entire match. After a few more fours, Tiwari was stumped giving Ware his second wicket.
As the innings wound toward its close, the tail wagged—not extravagantly, but with just enough sass to keep the scoreboard purring. There were scampered twos, opportunistic singles, and the occasional lofted bunt that got over the infield. Jonathan Kirby and Roger Putman didn’t hang around, but nor did they waste their time. The total crept up just enough to 145, a total that was, let’s say, charmingly defensible.

Then came Mount Edgecumbe’s reply. Now, cricket is many things. A sport. A pastime. A deeply British method of turning an entire day into an elaborate excuse not to answer emails. But on this occasion, it was also a spectacular demonstration of what happened when you meet a man called Lee Grant having a very good day.
Mount Edgcumbe’s Brijesh was first to go, bowled by Tiwari for 1. Then Docherty stepped in, managed 5 (the only runs scored for some time), and was bowled by the aforementioned Grant. Swiftly, Grant cleaned up Wallace, Sandeep, Gordon and Riordan (junior) – all for ducks. Ducks! A veritable feathered parade of zeros. His figures? Four overs, three maidens, five runs, five wickets. A “five-fer” as they say, though that undersells the effort – like calling the Sistine Chapel “a bit of ceiling work”.
Ware, to his eternal credit, tried to change the narrative. He scored 41 runs, faced 57 balls, and essentially lived at the crease like a determined squatter. His partnership with Rohit was the phase of the match where Mount Edgcumbe looked like a team with a plan and not just men hoping divine intervention would sort it out. After an 11 over attack by Phil Power and George Mather, it took Chris Cook to dismiss Rohit. He’s a man of many talents and apparently a quiet but efficient destroyer of dreams. After catching and bowling Rohit, Cook ended Ware’s innings, catching a lofted ball from some smart bowling from Fraser Chave. Cook took the last two wickets, with Chaudhary being stumped by the ever so quick Kirby after scoring 8 runs.
Hill and Riordan (senior) attempted to stand firm, the least dreamers at the gates, fending off a ravenous pack of Erratics – every fielder around the bat, eyes gleaming, hands twitching, pleading for one last catch. Finally Riordan nicked a ball behind—just the faintest of tickles, and although the umpire looked as if he'd rather not commit to anything that might end the fun, Riordan showed rare and noble honesty by walking. A gesture so pure, it ought to be bottled and administered to professional footballers. No fuss, no protest, just a dignified nod.

And so it ended: the Erratics triumphant, Mount Edgcumbe gracious in defeat, and the sun—heroically—still shining, if only out of politeness. But let the record show: this was Grant’s day, a whirlwind of wickets that made the scorebook look like a crime scene. It was Cook’s encore, stepping up with ball in hand when it really mattered. It was Ware’s lesson in stubborn elegance, and a celebration of that most cherished Sunday skill—the noble art of pretending to know how to field at cover. Where one’s duties include standing vaguely near the ball, offering encouragement, and being just close enough to pretend you almost stopped it; everyone had their moment, whether they wanted one or not.

See you next time Erratics…
- George Mather


Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 7 wickets
0
145		        
Duncan Chave lbw Sandeep 27
Martin Wright Run out  2
Matt Crawford b Sandeep 23
Lee Grant ct Ware 16
Chris Cook b Sandeep 0
Fraser Chave ct Brijesh 23
Anuj Tiwari  Ware
Jonathan Kirby Not Out  11
Roger Putman Not Out  6
Phil Power  
George Mather  

Mount Edgcumbe Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Gordon6.001600.002.67
Wallace8.002600.003.25
Chaudhary8.022100.002.63
Sandeep6.01933.001.50
Ware7.0036218.005.14
Rohit3.002100.007.00
Brijesh3.0110110.003.33

Mount Edgcumbe Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 10 wickets
0
78 (0.0 overs)		     
Brijesh b Tiwari 1
Docherty b Grant 5
Ware ct F. Chave 41
W. Riordan b Grant 0
Wallace b Grant 0
Sandeep b Grant 0
Gordon b Grant 0
Rohit ct Cook 15
Hill Not Out  1
Chaudhary st Cook 8
Riordan ct Cook 1

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Lee Grant4.03551.001.25
Anuj Tiwari4.02717.001.75
George Mather6.002600.004.33
Phil Power5.001500.003.00
Fraser Chave7.0215115.002.14
Chris Cook6.41732.331.05