Scorecard

Sunsets v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Wed 29 Apr 2026 at 6.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 15 Runs

Match report The Erratics rolled into Coaver Club for what promised to be a fine evening’s cricket, armed with optimism, questionable catching technique, and at least one deeply held opinion about fruit. The toss was lost, setting the tone, perhaps, and we were sent into the field.

Sunsets got to work immediately, with their openers Smalley and Dennis both retiring not out on 26 and 25 respectively, handing the crease to fresh legs and leaving our bowlers somewhat bewildered. Tom Joshi-Hartley, our ‘big name’ signing’, our marquee acquisition, was the standout. 3-31, with a first over that read 2-1. Two wickets in his very first over of the evening. With this being his penultimate game of the season, his departure will leave a Joshi-Hartley-shaped hole in our attack that will be very hard to fill.
Tim Fawcett chipped in with 1-26, Bill Gilmore-White (0-23), Kyle Wedgewood (0-17) and Mark Hailwood (0-21) did their bit for the economy, leaving Sunsets on 182-4, with two more retirees Pratt and Olzyak scoring 29 and 25 respectively.
It must be noted that it is still the ‘start’ of the season. We must remember this. The hands still may be cold, and the eyes were readjusting to match pace. That is the most charitable explanation for the three or four catches that went down during the Sunsets innings. We shall say no more about it, though we imagine certain fielders are still hearing the sound of leather on palms in their dreams.
And then there is the matter of your correspondent’s own figure: 0-56. I feel compelled to address this directly. The pitch was artificial. I despise artificial pitches. I feel like the ball does nothing. Nothing. My opening over was a controlled and professional 0-4. After that, I’d rather we moved on. The pitch is entirely to blame, and I will not be taking further questions.

Next came our time to bat. Our openers strode out, and early signs were promising. So promising, in fact, that the Sunsets’ fancy scoring iPad, a sleek, algorithmic oracle perched on the boundary, was predicting an Erratics victory for much of the first half of our innings. The machine believed in us. We believed in ourselves.
Fraser Chave, Richard Lindsay, Matt Crawford and Chris ferro all retired not out, doing their jobs admirably and keeping the run rate healthy. The middle order chipped away, the required rate crept up, and somewhere between hope and mathematics, the dream narrowed.
Sunsets' Olzyak, who had already plundered runs off our bowling, had the nerve to get your correspondent caught on the boundary. Fine. These things happen. I walked off with my head held high, having just posted 18 runs, my highest score for the Erratics. A personal milestone. A moment to savour. Except, as I reached the boundary rope still basking in the modest glory of it all, word reached me that the delivery had been a no-ball, Olzyak having stepped over the line. Which means, by the strict laws of this great game, the wicket did not count. The catch was irrelevant. I was, technically, still batting. Now, I am not one to dwell. I am a team man. I accept the rough with the smooth. But my highest Erratics score, ended by a wicket that wasn't even a wicket, does sting ever so slightly. Just a little. Barely noticeable, really. Whoever was umpiring is welcome to explain themself.
Special mention must go to Bill Gilmore-White, who endured the particular cruelty of a run out without having faced a single delivery. He arrived at the crease; he departed the crease. He did not trouble ethe scorers in between. We salute his brief and eventful stay.
We finished 167-5, falling 16 runs short. Captain for the day Jonathan Kirby has noted that he would have taken 167 runs at the start of the day, no questions asked. And honestly? He’s right. 167 against a side that posted 182 is no disgrace. It was a valiant chase and a great game of cricket.

No match report from an Erratics game would be complete without a mention of the sideline discourse, and this week it reached something of a philosophical peak. Annie Chave, watching proceedings from the boundary, was asked the question that has apparently divided households, friendships, and now cricket clubs across the land: what is your favourite fruit? Her answer: melon. Now, I have no issue with this answer, but the assembled company was not satisfied with this. Her answer was deemed to be wrong. Which raises an interesting point. A favourite fruit is, by its very nature, a matter of personal preference, it is perhaps the purest expression of individual taste that exists. There is no nutritional leaderboard, no governing body, no ICC equivalent sitting in judgment over the world's soft fruits. And yet, somehow, Annie Chave answered a question about her own favourite fruit and was told she had got it wrong. By other people. About her own feelings. Towards melon. The Erratics, it seems, contain multitudes, and at least one unsolicited fruit critic. For what it's worth, we support everyone’s right to enjoy melon freely and without persecution. The scoreboard may not have gone our way, but on the boundary, democracy died a quiet death.
The Erratics travel on, groundless but unbowed, with Tom Joshi-Hartley's penultimate game now behind us, one illegal wicket etched into the historical record, and a lingering, unresolved question about Annie's taste in fruit. Same time next week. Bring your catching gloves. Practice with them.

Reported by George Mather, 0-56, robbed.

Sunsets Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
12nb 26w 2lb 
for 4 wickets
40
182 (20.0 overs)		     
Howard Smalley Retired Not Out  26 15 3 2 173.33
Jim Dennis Retired Not Out  25 17 4 147.06
Steve Pearce Caught  12 11 2 109.09
Simon Welland Bowled  5 9 1 55.56
Nick McAleer Caught  0 2 0
William Pratt Retired Not Out  29 19 1 3 152.63
Matthew Cowley Bowled  5 7 1 71.43
Miles Olzyak Retired Not Out  25 20 3 1 125.00
Cam Price Not Out  6 3 1 200
Phil Gilmore Not Out  9 4 1 225.00
Bernie Wilson  

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
George Mather4.005600.0014.00
Mark Hailwood3.002100.007.00
Tim Fawcett3.0026126.008.67
Bill Gilmour-White2.002300.0011.50
Tom Joshi-Hartley4.0031310.337.75
Fraser Chave2.00600.003.00
Kyle Wedgwood2.001700.008.50

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
extras
TOTAL :
4nb 10w  
for 5 wickets
14
167		        
Fraser Chave Retired Not Out  27 20 4 135.00
Tom Joshi-Hartley b  N McAleer 0 1 0 1
Richard Lindsay Retired Not Out  27 13 3 1 207.69
Matt Crawford Retired Not Out  28 14 4 1 200 1
Tim Fawcett ct  B Wilson 1 5 20.0
Chris Ferro Retired Not Out  27 20 4 135.00
George Mather ct  M Olzyak 18 26 3 69.23
Kyle Wedgwood Run out  13 7 2 185.71
Mark Hailwood Not Out  12 9 1 133.33
Bill Gilmour-White Run out  0
Jonathan Kirby Not Out  0

Sunsets Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Nick McAleer3.0019119.006.33
Cam Price3.004100.0013.67
Steve Pearce4.002100.005.25
Bernie Wilson4.0033133.008.25
Phil Gilmore2.001900.009.50
Miles Olzyak3.0026126.008.67
Jim Dennis1.00800.008.00