Erratics Cricket Club Erratics v Southwark & Lambeth Imperial on Sat 13 Aug 2016 at 2.30pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 68 runs

Match report Mark Hailwood reports, again...

To be honest it's a miracle this game took place at all. At the start of the week I think myself and Martin Wright were the only two Erratics listed as available, and until Clyst's fixture was cancelled on Saturday morning we were set to field something closer to a six-a-side team. But Penny's sheer determination not to let down this London touring side – surely a cardinal sin of friendly cricket – paid off, and at the last minute we were able to put out a strong team of ten, and provide our guests with a smashing afternoon of hill-top, sun-out Devon cricket. Cricket, dear readers, was the winner (we, on the other hand, were not).

The same cannot be said of a certain incident against the Crediton Inn on Thursday evening whereby I was stumped off a wide in a manner that - whilst strictly speaking was within the laws of the game – was most definitely not, under the circumstances, in keeping with the spirit of the game. I was, needless to say, fuming, but I decided that the most appropriate response was to leave the field without dissent, hold my tongue, and be relatively magnanimous about it after the game. But by the time I got home and had bored Laura to bed with expletive-laden recounting of this injustice – and when she had politely excused herself I ranted at the cat for a bit; she was no more sympathetic – I started to regret bottling up my emotions at the time. Should I have seized the opportunity to claim 'the Wobbler' award for this year by trashing down the stumps with my bat and storming off, thereby leaving my anger on the field, and making a clear statement to the opposition that I deemed the incident unacceptable? It is a moral quandary that a cricketer must occasionally face - to bottle-it-up or to wobble - and one I shall leave you to ponder.

I digress (forbidden from 'banging on about it' at home I thought I would inflict my lingering resentment on readers of this report instead). So, I set off for this game, as captain, on the brink of a major retroactive wobble, but our visitors were far too good natured to trigger it – the problem was, they were also far too good. We (by which I mean I) let them have a bat first so that a few of their ranks could sleep off their hangovers, on another dry-and-quick outfield of the sort where bowling economy rates go to die, and whilst we huffed and puffed admirably with our limited bowling options we didn't blow many houses down, and our visitors amassed 236 from their 35 overs. This included a maiden century for one of their openers – something I always have mixed feelings about as an opposing captain and something the Erratics often seem to facilitate – and a nice 50 from their skipper. A special mention should go to young Jake Worton - a Stoke-in-T youth player helping us out - who did a fine job behind the stumps, including a smart low catch from an under-edged cut attempt off Krupakar's bowling.

Given that we had forgotten that we needed to provide tea until 10pm on the night before the game, and at that stage Martin, Penny and I were the only people on the team sheet who could reasonably be asked to contribute, we managed to conjure up a fine spread. The visitors duly anointed it 'Tea of the Tour', which was a little bit ironic given that they barely ate any of it. This also, to my mind, contravened what may only be a local custom – perhaps unknown in 'that London' – that a captain may opt to bowl first on the understanding that the opposition would be bowling and fielding on scone-laden stomachs. The fact that I had spent all morning in the kitchen churning out endless rounds of sandwiches which went uneaten brought me back to the brink of wobbling, but I was talked down by Penny's reassurance that her chickens would enjoy my cheese & pickle sarnies as much as the opposition had enjoyed our bowling.

Anyway, 236 didn't seem insurmountable given our late reinforcements of Chris, Krups and Matt, and our successful chase at Bridford on a similar pitch the previous week. As it turned out the tourists were a very tidy bowling and fielding unit against whom 7-an-over was never realistically on, especially after Chris Ferro played on just as he looked to be settling in. This may seem like an inelegant way for a batsman of Chris' calibre to be dismissed, but it should be noted that the ball did reach the boundary rope after clipping the bails off the stumps – even when he inside edges onto his own stumps Ferro still times it well enough for the ball to go for four. Matt and Krups also entertained us with a nice partnership of high calibre batting but the run-rate had long since galloped out of sight and ultimately the innings petered out to be quietly filed away under respectable but insufficient.

So, a happy few headed to the old W.G. for some refreshment after a hard but gratifying afternoon to catch another charming Teign Valley twilight and pick over the finer points of the no-ball and wide-rules (which had formed the subject of Ferro's recent bedtime reading, as I understood it). And I barely even mentioned my stumping (well, maybe once or twice…)

[Ian Lang was A.N. Other; Jake Worton was A.N. Other 1]

Southwark & Lambeth Imperial Batting
Player name RunsMB4s6sSR
for 3 wickets
235 (40.0 overs)

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Mark Hailwood7.0035135.005.00

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RMB4s6sSRCatchesStumpingsRun outs
for 9 wickets
Ian Hooper Caught  10
George Cockburn Caught  1
Chris Ferro Bowled  24
A.N. Other Bowled  6
Martin Wright ct  & b 0
Jayakrupakar Nallala Stumped  37
Matt Cook Bowled  49
Mark Hailwood Not Out  7
A.N. Other1 Bowled  6
Penny Price Bowled  0
N.O. One  

Southwark & Lambeth Imperial Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.