Scorecard

Newton Poppleford v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Thu 31 Jul 2025 at 6.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 6 wickets

Match report Match Reports by Anuj Tiwari:

Venue: Rock Hard Concrete Jungle | Ball Used: Orange. Because why not?

There are cricket matches where drama unfolds in every over, and then there’s this game – where the most gripping narrative was the running between the wickets. Yes, really.

Our opening pair – the evergreen Martin Wright (cricketing age 27; actual age not for public disclosure) and the irrepressible Jonathan Kirby (cricketing age 21; actual age: still fit enough to outrun teenagers) – set the tone. Having arrived at the game in the backseat of what might have been the most intellectually intimidating carpool since Cambridge met Oxford, Martin and Jonathan entertained me with sophisticated chatter about royal family mottos and French puns. Naturally, I understood none of it, being fluent only in pretending to understand.

But back to the action. Wright and Kirby batted like two men trying to outdo each other in a cardio test – scampering 3s, and even running 6 off a ball that technically only went for 2. Four of those were overthrows, as the fielders buckled under the psychological warfare of aggressive jogging. It was glorious.

Having lost the toss, Captain Lee pretended it was all part of the plan: “I was going to bat anyway,” he declared, heroically benching himself due to a leg injury (and possibly out of compassion for the opposition). What followed was a strong batting performance – 142 off 20 overs. Hailwood, Hewson and Lindsay bravely faced down two Afghan quicks from Exmouth, who bowled at approximately the speed of continental drift in reverse.

Then came the fielding… or what passed for it. With 10 men on the field (yes, 8 fielders and a bowler and a wicketkeeper), every edge, mistimed flick, and half-hearted swipe somehow reached the boundary. Think Swiss cheese, but with less structural integrity. Despite this, Hailwood, Perkin Jr, and skipper Lee bowled with conviction. And then, there was The Run-Out™️.

Picture this: a fierce drive from M Raistrick, the ball ricochets off Dhruba’s foot (DJ to friends, Dwayne Johnson to the ball), and bam, direct hit. Adey Jr run out, Dhruba inexplicably humble. Is there anything he can’t do? Bats like Tendulkar, fields like Jonty Rhodes, and in his spare time, casually models the climate future of our planet.

Alas, it was not to be. Newton Poppleford, bolstered by a mystery hitter only identified as “T.C.” on the scorecard (possibly Terminator Cricket?) (Tom Clay, son of the legendary Kenny Clay -Ed.), demolished the total in 16.3 overs. Still, there was some poetry in Raistrick and Adey L – long-time Erratics allies – hitting the winning runs. Even defeat can be sentimental.

As the sun set on our orange-ball adventure and fielders emerged from various corners of the boundary, Perkin Sr offered a precise match summary:
“We were 40 short.”
Yes, yes we were.

Post-match recovery took place at The Cannon Inn, where pizza and chips were consumed with the kind of enthusiasm previously reserved for sixes and overthrows. No regrets, just sore legs and new stories.

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
11w 9b 1lb 
for 5 wickets
21
142		        
Jonathan Kirby Bowled  8 1
Martin Wright Retired Not Out  30
Matthew Hewson Caught  26
Richard Lindsay Caught  16
Mark Hailwood Caught  18
Alex Perkin Bowled  0
Anuj Tiwari Not Out  15
Jon Perkin Not Out  8
Dhruba Jyoti Goswami  
Lee Grant   1
A.N. Other  

Newton Poppleford Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Newton Poppleford Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
1w  
for 4 wickets
1
143 (16.3 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Anuj Tiwari2.001700.008.50
Mark Hailwood3.0020210.006.67
Alex Perkin3.0031131.0010.33
Jon Perkin2.302900.0011.60
Lee Grant3.001400.004.67
Dhruba Jyoti Goswami3.002300.007.67