Kentisbeare v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 08 Jun 2014 at 2.30pm

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Kentisbeare v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 08 Jun 2014 at 2.30pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 62 runs

Match report Report by J. S. K.* Haynes

Tasked with my second report of 2014, and hoping for a full match rather than just one innings to report on, I decided I had to do some thorough homework. Following the example set by our good President, (and several other persons whose names were new to me but who, judging by their recollections of the Yorkshire of my father’s youth, might represent an earlier generation of Erratics), I felt reassured that I need not fear compiling an exhaustive record, not only of the afternoon’s proceedings, but also of the full historical context of this match. With the possible exception of Andrew Forrester, I felt confident that every reader would revel in the minutiae of my report.

So, to begin with the historical context, I spent three days immersed in Wisden (and Camra News), finding out all I could about the Black Cat, the Mad Cat, Time and Tide, Wantsum, the Old Dairy, Larkins, Millis, Hop Fuzz, Goody, Hopdaemon, Westerham, Whitstable, Ramsgate, Canterbury, Chapel Down, Romney Marsh and Shepherd Neame … all breweries creating the finest of Kentish Beer.

Upon realising my aural error I subsequently and reluctantly decided to excise this treatise (which was only a little shy of 8,000 words) from my report … but if enough people request it, I will email it to you, via the Erratics mailing list.

So to the match:

At 13.47 the heavens opened and a there began a shower almost heavy enough to have forced the England footballers off the field. Our hosts had sensibly dragged covers over the prepared wicket and trusted to the forecast that the shower would blow through. At around 14.00 the Erratics gathered in the shelter of the pavilion terrace to watch the rain, scan the skies for signs of brightness, and listen to Martin Weiler read from his own account of the famous 1979 match at Kentisbeare which ended in a tie, with Thomson senior, Peter, (who had brought along the account), at the crease with Thomson junior, Jim.

The skies did brighten, the rain blew away, and a 40 over match started at 14.38 with Duncan Chave and Mark Hailwood taking on the Kentisbeare opening bowlers of Howe and Bottrill. The short boundaries, especially the straight ones, effectively restricted non-boundaries to singles. With the exception of an overthrown 2, the Erratics amassed just 4s and singles to reach 43 for no wicket off 12 overs. Duncan was in his stride, on 25, and Mark was just getting into his, on 15 …

At 15.12, the rain returned. Players gathered at the pavilion to sit it out and to contemplate the omens: Varun Kothamachu was playing again (in Hindi Varun is the ‘god of rain or water’) … Jeff Haynes was reporting again (his last report was on the rain-abandoned match at Clyst St George which opened the 2014 season). Calls went out to reveal that it was hot and sunny in Roland Garros for Nadal to begin his fightback against Djokovic, but that it was still hammering it down in Exeter.

15.30 Annie Chave suggested that we needed a few more photos to enliven the Erratics’ website. I dutifully fetched my camera and took an exciting view of the water-drenched covers.

15.45 Still raining.

15.46 Fraser Chave asked what I was noting down. I replied … “15.45, still raining”. Fraser asked if I was constructing a time-line and would I be writing down “15.46, Fraser asked what I was noting down”. Of course not, you stupid boy!

15.55 The captains conferred and came up with the smashing idea of taking an early tea. Just as it had done 35 years before, tea at Kentisbeare proved to be exceedingly good. So much so that Annie suggested we create a new Tea20, comprising the 20 best tea items consumed during the season, and started the ball rolling by nominating the Kentisbeare Victoria Sandwich cake. I managed to get a photo just before it disappeared.

Both before and during tea we amused ourselves with stories from the past and plans for the future. Martin’s report of 1979 described the Erratics’ preparations for that match, which involved spending the evening before in the pub, followed by generous nightcaps chez Thomson. But then this was the late seventies … and wasn’t the eighties’ success of the likes of Botham, Gatting and Gower fuelled by beer? These days we’re told that the England players are not allowed alcoholic beverages, and perhaps this shows in their performances? Nobody seemed sure whether or not Colin Milburn’s hefty build owed anything to alcohol, but then he did bat successfully with only one eye. As did the Nawab of Pataudi. Your reporter wondered (not unreasonably) whether his own batting might improve if he covered one eye? And so the idea of an experimental team was hatched – the Piratics perhaps – where half our players sport eye patches, and half arrive the worse for a night and morning of heavy drinking: the observed results helping inform future Erratics strategy.

Varun was recounting the story of how an ice cream saved his life … when we realised that the rain had stopped, and a few shafts of sunlight were forcing their way through the clouds. Captain Chris Ferro informed us that the 40 over match was abandoned and we would be starting again on a 20 over format. Can anything be more disappointing than for the opening batsmen, who had confidently all but seen off the opening attack and established a great start to the Erratics innings, to learn that their effort was for nought? Well, actually, yes: for the scorer to learn that 12 overs of 100% accurate scoring, even down to recording dot balls, was all to no avail.

The covers were dragged off, the Erratics took to the field, and Varun and Fraser opened the bowling. Danny Williamson, with the memory of three dropped catches in the previous day’s match fresh in his mind, made amends with a very well-judged catch from a skied ball … only then to see the umpire’s extended arm signalling a no ball. Varun bowled Ogden with the next ball, and Chris, replacing Fraser, smartly picked up a low caught and bowled to remove Diamond for a duck. Thereafter, McCartney (50 retired) and Thomas (81) demonstrated how to make the most of the Kentisbeare ground with impressive straight hitting. The umpires here always keep two balls in play, (one in use while one is being retrieved), but on this afternoon a third might have helped reduce the occasional delays. From 72 for 2 at 10 overs the home team accelerated, targeting 10 runs an over. Krupakar Nallala took a catch off an attempted reverse sweep to dismiss Thomas off Nigel Rutherford. Krupakar struck again to stump Botterill off Jeff’s third ball, but all the bowlers struggled to contain the batsmen who managed to notch up 204 for 4.

On the plus side, the only injuries sustained were heavy bruising to Chris’ foot and to Fraser’s wrist, which isn’t too bad for the Erratics this season.

Duncan carried on where he had left off before the rain, with Nigel offering hard-hitting support. The boundaries flowed from both bats: the “Duncscoop” providing the greatest entertainment. Though retirements were not strictly required, Chris sought to involve the whole team by inviting Duncan to retire when he reached 50. Shortly afterwards Nigel hit three consecutive sixes before himself retiring on 53. When Greg MacQueen had fallen cheaply the Erratics had 101 on the board and were not that far behind where Kentisbeare were at a similar stage, but we were already facing a required rate of 13 runs per over. Despite the best efforts of the middle order batsmen, this proved too much of an ask, and Mark Hailwood and Varun were left in the middle when the overs ran out, with the Erratics’ score on 142 for 6. (Even adding on the Erratics’ “first innings” score we still came up short!)

It was an almost cloudless sky as we made our way to the Keepers Cottage Inn. How different might this report have been had the rain not intervened?

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*Footnote: I have adopted Karen as my second middle name: I was my parents' third and final attempt at a little girl, and was destined to be a Karen. For my part, I reckon that a full set of initials can only enhance my cricketing performance.

Kentisbeare Batting

Player name		Runs
extras TOTAL :	for 4 wickets	0 204 (20.0 overs)

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player Name	Overs	Runs	Wickets	Average	Economy
Varun Kothamachu	4.0	29	1	29.00	7.25
Fraser Chave	3.0	30	0	0.00	10.00
Chris Ferro	2.0	17	1	17.00	8.50
Nigel Rutherford	4.0	32	1	32.00	8.00
Mark Hailwood	4.0	60	0	0.00	15.00
Jeff Haynes	3.0	34	1	34.00	11.33

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting

Player Name		R
extras TOTAL :	for 6 wickets	0 142
Duncan Chave	Retired Not Out	50
Nigel Rutherford	Retired Not Out	53
Greg MacQueen	Bowled	3
Jayakrupakar Nallala	Caught	1
Martin Weiler	Not Out	6
Danny Williamson	Stumped	0
Fraser Chave	Caught	10
Varun Kothamachu	Run out	0
Mark Hailwood	Not Out	1
Chris Ferro
Jeff Haynes

Kentisbeare Bowling

Player name	Overs	Maidens	Runs	Wickets	Average	Economy
No records to display.

Photos and video of Kentisbeare v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 08 Jun 2014 at 2.30pm

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