Clyst St George v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 05 Jul 2015 at 2.30pm
Erratics Cricket Club Won by 19 runs

Match report "I've started my presentation with this quote from Nietzsche just to show-off how well-read I am." Thus spoke the opening lecturer at a workshop that I once attended. Her satirical gambit was enjoyed by everyone apart from the second speaker, who, it was soon revealed, had chosen to begin each section of his pre-prepared slides with exactly the same sort of literary quotation. Which all goes to show Mark Hailwood that quotes aren't everything. Or does it?

This was Peter Colclough's first match at Clyst St George since the infamous encounter of 1984 (a.k.a. The Day Cricket Died). (If you don't know the story then ask someone or read the first Erratics book, where you will find, incidentally, that "Colclough, for once, was unable to cash in on his marvellous form", being 153 runs for once out in three innings.) "Has this ground got bigger?" Peter asked, a little breathlessly, after lugging his bag up the sloping outfield from car to pavilion.

A 40-over-a-side match was agreed and Peter opened our batting with Ben Abrahams. In the face of some testing bowling from Clyst captain Dan Takle, the two put on 81 in 18 overs, Peter getting away a couple of glances for four, but otherwise deftly giving the strike to Ben who scored freely with pulls, drives and leg-side tucks. The wiles of Bernie Wilson (now President of the Devon Dumplings) were needed to break the partnership, and he soon had Peter LBW for 27, Krupakar stumped for 5 (unable, for once, to cash in on his marvellous form), and Ben LBW for a fine 66. Chris Ferro was joined by Martin Wright, who smote his first ball for four, but soon edged a drive off 13-year-old Bertie Creer to his twin brother, Freddie. (The chances of an all-Creer dismissal were fairly high with elder brother Angus and father Iain also playing.) Fraser Chave came and went, doing rather little in between, and then rain drove the players from the field with the score 157-5 off 31 overs.

Mark Hailwood would probably agree that this was not his finest match for the Erratics, but it is possible that his role as captain in the negotiations about how the game should continue after the interruption was decisive in our eventual victory. Clyst had suggested curtailing the match to 35-overs-a-side but Mark, rightly feeling that this would disadvantage us, proposed a novel alternative. The Erratics would bat for a further 30 minutes, and then Clyst would receive the same number of overs as us in their innings. In the event, of course, Clyst bowled precisely nine overs in the half hour, which meant that the match remained a 40-over-a-side contest. I hear that Mark is being lined up as Greece's new minister of finance. In those nine overs, the Erratics lost Nigel Rutherford and Andrew Forrester, but Chris Ferro and Ben Hayes shared a half-century stand to take us to a final total of 228-7.

Bursts of laughter punctuated our innings, in reaction not only to on-field ineptitude, but also to the surrealist musings of certain spectators. What fun might be had by standing behind the bowler's arm while wearing a massive, red, Afro wig (with white pin-stripes down the middle)? How should a one-armed umpire signal a wide? And, in order to help choose the venue for the forthcoming Erratics-Mystics Chairman's Cup match, which is the better saint: Mary, of Tedburn, or Cyr, of Newton? Of the two newest Erratics, Ben Hayes seemed the more amused by these speculations; Hugo Boatwright (a name that must make Martin Wright wonder why his ancestors never specialised) took refuge in the relative sanity of his newspaper. Spectatorial arrivals during the course of the afternoon included Ben Youngman (features and demeanour seemingly unaltered by his fractured jaw), the Squires (who started manufacturing orange-and-yellow fluffy ducks), and Jim and Peter Thomson (who presented me with a copy of his cricketing memoirs - My Life Alongside Cricket). The tea, prepared by mother Creer, Caroline, and her mother, Mary, was superb.

Clyst probably viewed our total as a good test for their batsmen, most of whom were perfectly capable of scoring at least half a century each. They were faced first with Nigel (downhill) and Hugo (uphill). If Nigel's bowling is metronomic, Hugo's more resembles a perpetual motion machine. Each over seems a continual, cyclical movement: run, whirl arm, turn, walk, catch, turn, run, whirl arm... The first ten overs took only 30 minutes. Nigel bowled Allan Welsh with one that kept low, but then Sam Cooper and Harry Attwater began hitting a boundary an over and the chase was on. The first bowling change saw the game move back in favour of the Erratics, however, as both batsmen were caught trying to attack Ben Abrahams's off-breaks. The new batsmen, Takle and Sam Cox, consolidated and then feasted on a few loose deliveries from the captain.

This was the key stage of the match. Would Clyst, with Ian Edworthy still to come in, build a match-winning partnership, or could we exert sufficient pressure to force some mistakes? The game was decided by an excellent spell of aggressive and controlled seam bowling from Ben Hayes, which brought him the three, key wickets. First he bowled Cox, flattening the left-hander's off-stump with a satisfying thump. Then Ben Abrahams took a thrilling, one-handed catch high above his head at short cover to remove Takle. And finally, Edworthy played on to another full, probing delivery. Clyst did not have the firepower to challenge after that.

The remaining ten overs of the match, played in warm sunshine, had the feel of a delightful encore. With the two young Creers at the crease, Mark summoned Fraser's off-spin and Peter's left-arm spin, and the ever-smiling twins entertained a cheering crowd with a helter-skelter partnership of about 40 runs as they tried to match each other shot for shot. Freddie's reverse sweep off the final ball brought an enjoyable day to a laughter-filled close.

Chris Ferro

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 7 wickets
Peter Colclough lbw Bernie Wilson 27
Ben Abrahams lbw Bernie Wilson 66
Jayakrupakar Nallala st Bernie Wilson 5
Chris Ferro Not Out  65
Martin Wright ct F Creer, b. B Creer 10
Fraser Chave b B Creer 2
Nigel Rutherford b Edworth 12
Andrew Forrester b Edworth 0
Ben Hayes Not Out  18
Hugo Boatright  
Mark Hailwood  

Clyst St George Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Clyst St George Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 7 wickets
200 (40.0 overs)
F Creer Not Out  29
B Creer Caught  17

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Nigel Rutherford8.0240140.005.00
Hugo Boatright6.012900.004.83
Ben Abrahams8.0034217.004.25
Mark Hailwood3.003200.0010.67
Ben Hayes6.011334.332.17
Fraser Chave6.0032132.005.33
Peter Colclough3.002500.008.33