Scorecard

Painswick (Tour) v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Thu 31 Aug 2006 at 2pm
Erratics Cricket Club Won by 193 runs

Match report by Jonathan Kirby



Simon Orpen: "The Butcher of Painswick"

Not content with leading the Erratics to their highest-ever 40-over score at the Valley of the Rocks in 2005, Captain Orpen today organised the pitiless slaughter of a friendly and sporting team from Painswick...


Erratics versus Painswick,
Painswick, Thursday 31st August

Simon Orpen: "The Butcher of Painswick"

Not content with leading the Erratics to their highest-ever 40-over score at the Valley of the Rocks in 2005, Captain Orpen today organised the pitiless slaughter of a friendly and sporting team from Painswick...

Greetings From Painswick...

The 2006 Gloucester Tour opened with the usual confusion about who would be there and who would not, and whether the weather would hold. It did, just, and a team of Erratics were present more or less at the appointed start time of 2:00pm, and the game began.

That Adam Thomas was able to play was something of a medical miracle. With injuries to his legs and to his left hand, it was only half an hour before the game that he declared himself fit, a decision that led to Oliver Kirby playing for the opposition, who were a man short.

Richard Perham, a henchman of Orpen's from Leeds, was Adam's opening partner. The score moved on more or less chancelessly at about 5 an over for the first 10 overs, but let's cut to the chase... Adam went on to score in excess of 120 runs, including two boundaries that flew over gully rather than finding their way to cow corner. OK, maybe there were a couple of straight hits too. An awesome display, especially considering the injuries he was carrying.

The opening stand yielded 97 runs. Then Sam Cook contributed 45, sensibly scored. Various others contributed not quite as much, and Painswick gamely kept going as the ball was repeatedly smacked around. For four balls, Paul Molins acted as substitute fielder for the opposition, while one of their number attended to tea. He later observed at tea that he had fielded for rather longer than he had batted.

Adam was dropped at mid-on (a bit of a sitter really), before he eventually holed out to long-on. An exercise in hubris... he had just decided he was going to "try for 200".

James "Immovable" Burrows was run out by Paul Gladding in the final chase for runs. Paul later declined a run although the ball had bounced off his pads to a distance approximately ten times greater from the wicket-keeper than the ball on which he had called James for that run... However, he did spank a brisk 23. Jim Thomson was there at the end, and was proud not to be dismissed by a county bowler - although said bowler was only 11 years old.

The young Painswick bowlers were outstanding in their commitment to the cause. They never appeared to lose heart, and in keeping going, they did keep taking wickets. Comedy dismissal - divine retribution? Captain Orpen slashed at a horribly wide one, the ball bounced off the wicket-keeper and was held by first slip.

The 40 overs came to an end, and an excellent tea was had by all.

The Erratics took to the field, and James Burrows was on fire. Quixotically, Don Orpen declared "you've got to be cruel to be kind", and three wickets quickly fell as the heart was ripped out of the Painswick resistance. Perhaps our captain was drawing on some ancient magic? Your correspondent couldn't help but notice that Orpen's gestures as he moved the field around were disturbingly similar to those of a senior Erratic who knows more about Quixote than the rest of us put together. (Imitation is the highest form of flattery, of course.)
When asked about the high points of our fielding, Umpire Salter first mentioned Paul Gladding's spectacular one-handed catch. Showboating? Maybe. Impersonating Thomas The One-Handed? Definitely. Sam Cook also attempted this feat. Twice. To miss one one-handed catch is careless. To miss two is... well.. Sam Cookish.

For all that, Salter remains impressed with the Erratics' ground-fielding - especially after Adam was replaced by Harry Molins.

Among the improbably numerous left-handers on the Painswick team was their captain, who cheerfully smote some lusty blows in what had become a hopeless quest, before sweeping over the top of one that didn't bounce. A couple of other batsmen carved the ball back onto their stumps. Jim Thomson took two wickets with two balls in his first over. Richard Perham managed to drop a simple chance off his son's bowling - he probably won't be allowed to forget that for some time. Umpire Salter had a Daryl Hair moment when he called one short, while Umpire Berry turned down an LBW appeal from Burrows, only to confide later to the entire pub that it should really have been out. Clearly, Berry is a man of compassion, unlike Captain Orpen.

Should Orpen lead us again? Is it any coincidence that the last two times he has captained the Erratics, the team has achieved massive victories? Time will tell...


Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 9 wickets
0
265		        
Adam Thomas Caught  128
Richard Perham Bowled  18
Paul Molins Lbw  0
Jonathan Kirby Caught  2
Sam Cook Bowled  45
Paul Gladding Not Out  23
David Pearson Bowled  18
Simon Orpen Caught  0
A.N. Other Caught  4
James Burrows Run out  1
Jim Thomson  

Painswick (Tour) Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Painswick (Tour) Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 10 wickets
0
72 (25.0 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
James Burrows7.04732.331.00
David Pearson7.0219119.002.71
Jim Thomson6.0123211.503.83
A.N. Other5.011200.002.40