North Nibley v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 02 Sep 2018 at 2.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 1 wicket

Match report The Tyndale Monument was built on a hill just outside North Nibley in 1866 (according to Wikipedia it is more commonly called Nibley Monument, chiefly because it’s in North Nibley and that seems like a logical name for it. Also the hill is called Nibley Knoll or occasionally Nibley Knob by the occasional banterous touring team). The monument was built in honour of William Tyndale who was executed by strangling and then burnt at the stake just to make sure, for unlicensed possession of Scripture written in English (if only he’d mentioned that it wasn’t scripture he possessed but his own translation of the bible then he might have been fine).

The Monument had stood in the same spot for 151 years before someone decided to find out if someone could catch a cricket ball thrown from the top, that was last year and that person was Mark Phillips. This year we decided to become even more disrespectful as Phil Power became the first person to throw an avocado out of the window of a 150 year old monument. I’d like to say that the sight of an avocado falling from a window and splatting rather spectacularly on the grass in front of 9 bemused Erratics is somehow a metaphor for something, but alas I cannot be so metaphorical.

I just checked the online scorecard for this game and was disappointed to discover that no match report was entered because I’d quite like to be reminded of what happened.

Instead I’ll talk about lunch until it comes back to me.

North Nibley is a small village, my evidence for this was that when we walked into the village shop to find sustenance we were met by the woman who’d helped serve our breakfast behind the counter and the man who’d served our dinner buying a sausage roll.

We spent the majority of our innings thinking that we hadn’t scored enough runs.

I had a whole cucumber and a pistachio magnum for lunch (Annem Hobson has written a blog about the pistachio magnum where she has slammed the new recipe as mealy vanilla ice cream masquerading as pistachio flavour. @MiZWiZDesign was also upset calling out the world “@MangnumUK really disappointed with the pistachio magnum. What have you done to it? It was awesome before. Don’t think I’ll be buying it again”)

You might think that complaining to a popular ice cream company on twitter is a odd way to spend your time but I think it should be celebrated.

@ErraticsCC really disappointed with your performance today. What has happened to this club? It was better in the 80s. Won’t be reading your match reports again

It was this sort of objection that let to poor William Tyndale being strangled and burnt alive (except he was already dead when burnt so I suppose it’s more of a cremation). I’m concerned that mealy reporting about this game is going to get me tied to a stake, maybe I should be writing this in Greek.

Anyway I would defend @ErraticsCC from any such twitter trolls and claim that we didn’t play badly under difficult circumstances. Siva would have been my pick for Erratic of the day, not only did he figure out the speed of a cricket ball/avocado thrown out of a 34m monument in his head, but he also scored his highest score for the Erratics in an aggressive innings (at the time I described Siva’s batting as what would happen if you gave one of those advertising inflatable men a cricket bat: (a whole team of Sivas)) and he also kept wicket when he didn’t really want to (he also described one of my overs as the best he’d ever seen. Way to pander to the match reporter).

The first 5 overs of their innings saw the fall of 4 wickets as I saw off 3 bats and Ben got out the one who was described by one of their players as “an actual batsman.” Then the opposition defence began as they put on 70 for the 5th wicket, before Chris bowled the main scorer for 49. Then in the same over, in a moment of supreme sportsmanship, we ran out the next batsman who had fallen over trying to get back to his crease #lol. Then the over later we got the other partner batsman caught at midwicket. Jim came on to bowl with them 118 for 8 and bowled a dangerous no-ball the second ball that nearly reached the height of the bat’s thigh, but Jim utilised the extra ball by bowling their number 10 as he played about 5 different shots before missing it. 121 for 9. 15 needed.

I don’t know why I feel the need to try and build up suspense at this point, you’ve seen that this game as been listed as “Lost by 1 wicket” and the likelihood is that you’ve looked at the scorecard before reading the report. Either that or you were there and remember perfectly well that they scored the runs required by hitting it very hard at the boundary.

There, suspense ruined.

Fraser Chave.

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 6 wickets

(35.0 overs)
Duncan Chave Bowled  27 3
Martin Wright Bowled  9 1 1
Danny Williamson Caught  3
Chris Cook Caught  33 5
Peter Colclough Lbw  0
Sivaraman Subramanian Caught  31 5 1
Fraser Chave Not Out  6 1 1
Matt Crawford Not Out  0 1
Phil Power  
Ben Youngman  
Jim Thomson  

North Nibley Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

North Nibley Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 9 wickets
141 (30.5 overs)

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Fraser Chave7.022839.334.00
Ben Youngman5.0212112.002.40
Chris Cook7.042137.003.00
Phil Power7.013500.005.00
Duncan Chave3.002600.008.67
Jim Thomson2.0015115.007.50