Morebath v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sun 02 Jul 2017 at 2.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Won by 9 Runs

Match report Morebath vs Los Erráticos

A match report by Fraser Chave, edited by Thomas Bennett-Hughes

Introduction: Morebath
The ground reminded Andrew of Yarcombe & Stockland, well if not the ground itself then the surrounding areas. Like Y&S, opposite the pavilion there are many pleasing hills, even some cows (although without Penny there to identify them who could say they were not merely locals in disguise). The ground itself is larger than Y&S as well as being less circular more the shape of a curved square, known in the shape trade as a squircle. There is a gentle slope from the square down towards the pavilion, which turns into a very steep slope on one of the corners. Before the game Paul examined the pitch and confided in your narrator that it looked as though it was going to be another bowlers wicket, with patches of black, cracks and a curvature that suggested plenty of uneven bounce.

Act I: Erratics Innings
The opposition were sponsored by ‘Fraser: Anti-Static Techniques,’ now I’ve got no idea what this means but it was clear that in order to win this game we’d all have to play in the style of this non-narrator Fraser and remain anti-static throughout. Captain Wright (not to be confused with the Captain Wright of the classic RPG Exiled Kingdoms who is willing to take you as a passenger on his journey to New Anthur for 250 gold pieces) was asked by the opposition captain whether he wished to bat or bowl first and so he replied “We cast off and sail with the tide, so jump on board if you’re interested” and off we went to New Anthur i.e. we batted first.
After his performance the previous day and with his defensive technique advanced in the nets, Danny was selected with the honour of opening the batting alongside Mark Phillips, now entering his 7th consecutive errati-game. It was at this point that my notes began, the first being: ‘It is a nice day,’ it was, the sun was shining throughout. Morebath were slightly few in the field so we offered them 12th man Sivaraman Subramanian and 11th man Jim Thomson as fielders, which didn’t last long as Jim returned before the first bowl was bowled. Thus the game began.
The first over went for 10 as Danny managed to display both his new resolute defensive technique as well as the classic across-the-line swish. Unfortunately this period of reverie did not last as Mark edged the 4th ball of the 2nd over to be caught behind, returning to the pavilion he admitted he felt “ashamed.” Paul replaced him and swiftly returned; perhaps he sensed his incoming phone call. Danny himself fell the next over, proving that an hour in the nets was not quite enough to secure a secure defensive technique. Was Paul’s prophecy about a bowlers paradise coming true, apparently not as Andrew returned from an unexpectedly short umpiring stint he reassured the masses that it was 100% a batting track. Youngman Ben joined Captain Wright at the crease and immediately looked in good form, predicting a long Wright-Abrahams batting stint your narrator, with editor in tow, began the walk around the boundary to the sunny side of the pitch. I was just noting ‘Reporter behind bowlers arm in an attempt….’ when Martin edged behind and the note remained unwritten as your narrator handed his hat and notebook over to the editor and headed out to join Youngman Ben in the middle.

At this point dear reader I must rely on the notes of the editor to convey the story of what occurred.
“Good running between the youngsters” – having previously been run out batting with Youngman Ben, your narrator had decided the best course of action was to accept any call he gave and not hesitate in the attempt to reach the other end, the results were exhausting.
“Classic cover drives – Abrahams” – I can confirm, Ben’s batting was looking elegant and confident.
“Ferro likens Chave to J.S.S Laxman” – Presumably some distant relation of V.V.S Laxman, who was considerably taller than his batting partners.
“Miguel – el hombre tercero” – translates as Miguel – the third man. This was the new bowler and challenge for the scorers, his first over went for 14 but those runs would later be returned in act II…
“Old-fashioned bowler bounding in – extracting extra bounce” – this was E.Mock who’s slightly faster pace gentle swing and extra bounce made him the most threatening of the opposition bowlers.
“No acknowledgement from Abrahams after 50” – immediately after drinks Youngman Ben brought up his 50 with a stylish edge past slips.
“Fraser gives his bat a right talking to after an edge over slip” – speaks for itself.
“100 partnership after the 23rd over”
“Bats like a boxer – Abrahams” – your narrator doesn’t recall his batting partner doing much dodging or punching.
“Aiming for a small boy on the boundary – Chave” – your narrator would like to apologise to the small boy on the boundary.
“A wild Chris Ferro appears from the undergrowth”

As your narrator reached his 50 and Youngman Ben brought up an impressive first errati-century we decided to step up the game and become more aggressive in our approach. Appropriately your narrator swiftly hit the ball not into a gap but onto his own stumps, bringing an end to a partnership of 173 off 24 overs, Chris Ferro suggested that it was in contention for one of the all time Erratic partnerships, unfortunately there is no way of checking. After waiting these 24 overs to get to the crease Andrew decided he didn’t like it there very much after all and returned back to base. Youngman Ben clearly felt lost without his previous partner and offered up his first real error shot that was caught cleanly by the man-in-the-shorts. This left CF & TBH together in the middle (CF is an abbreviation for Compact Flash, perfectly describing Ferro’s batting technique, TBH however is internet speak for To Be Honest which is less descriptive thankfully TBH is also the abbreviation for the Teddy Bear Hospital which far better describes Tom’s batting as he set about making a case for his team role being in the batting over the bowling department). After a solid end to the innings we finished on 265 for 7 in our 40 overs.

Interval: Tea
The tea was nice.

Act II: Morebath Innings
It was unfortunate that your narrator was unable to make notes on this second half; instead memory must be relied upon. Ben Youngman and TBH opened the bowling for us and Tom swiftly furthered his case for the team’s batting role. Our own Spanish translator having his bowling translated into sixes by the man-with-the-Spanish-name. With them reaching 61 off only 8 overs we began to consider that possibly we needed to have scored a few more lots of runs. Thankfully at this point the team’s uncle Jim was introduced to the ball: his first delivery was a beautiful full toss that was struck firmly into the hands of your narrator on the deep mid-wicket boundary.
Jim’s, by his own admission, not great bowling continued to seed wickets and the first 4 names in the scorebook fell in 4 different ways (LBW, Caught, Stumped and Bowled) to his devastatingly slow bowling. These 4 wickets meant that the new batsmen were Siva (the traitor) and, as it says in the scorebook, ‘THE Craig Woodman.”
Craig Woodman, recognised by Mark Hailwood as a former Bristol City defender and not recognised by Jim Thomson as a current Exeter City defender, has played 175 league games for Exeter and hadn’t played cricket for about 20 years. There wasn’t much defensive play visible when he had the ball however. Jim had never been so pleased to be hit for 6 by anyone before then.
Siva was also making a case for being used as a batsman as he rode his luck to a better-then-he’s-scored-for-us 26.
Partnerships were built then wickets would fall, this was the pattern until the 8th wicket fell as Ferro bowled a straight one. The situation was, E.Mock & Cpt S.Kelland in the middle, 47 required off 4 overs. Some tight bowling and big hitting left them at requiring 25 of the final and it was left to your narrator to bowl that over since the other set bowlers had all bowled their set or had gone for 36 off 3 (The narrator would like to apologise to the editor for mentioning this again).
Thankfully they didn’t manage the required 25 and we’d won a mighty fine game with 520 runs having been scored in the day. We travelled to the Swan Inn which, I fear dear reader, is where this match report and the tour came to end. It was a thoroughly successful weekend of cricket, with two narrow victories and new success stories to tell. Thank you to Danny for organising the tour, thank you to Morebath for being a friendly opposition and your narrator would like to wish our opposition good luck in their upcoming fixture against a team known only as Frasers…

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
for 7 wickets

(40.0 overs)
Mark Phillips Caught  1
Danny Williamson Bowled  10 2
Paul Molins Bowled  1
Martin Wright Caught  0
Ben Abrahams Caught  116 19 1
Fraser Chave Bowled  61 10 1 1
Andrew Forrester Caught  0 1
Chris Ferro Not Out  31 5
Tom Bennett-Hughes Not Out  14 1
Ben Youngman  
Jim Thomson  

Morebath Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Morebath Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
for 8 wickets
256 (40.0 overs)

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Ben Youngman8.0035135.004.38
Tom Bennett-Hughes3.003600.0012.00
Chris Ferro8.0133216.504.13
Jim Thomson8.0045411.255.63
Fraser Chave5.004300.008.60
Ben Abrahams8.0063163.007.88