Scorecard

Lynton & Lynmouth v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sat 30 Jun 2018 at 2.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Won by 83 runs

Match report The Blindwell Farm Bunkhouse, our home for the North Devon Tour, has a book in which visitors can comment on their stay. A group who had been there shortly before us talked about "beer, banta and booze", which led us to discussion of the "power of three" and also the origins of the word banta (sic), which is clearly still evolving. Happily, in our midst we happened to have an expert on Early Modern England, who was able to offer the following information on the first recorded use of "top bantz". Improbable as it may sound, this was apparently in Tyndall's biblical translations, dating from the 16th century. I paraphrase the words of the learned Dr Hailwood:

"And lo, Abraham did come out of Ur, and the Lord did say unto Abraham, 'if thou lovest me, thou must obey me, and I command you to sacrifice to me your son, Isaac. And Abraham did fear, love and obey the Lord, so he led his son up a mountain and did construct a stone pyre on which to sacrifice his own son, even with a knife. But at the very moment at which Abraham was about to strike down his son, the Lord appeared to him as an angel saying "ha, ha, only kidding, you don't need to do that". And Abraham did reply with a laugh, "ha ha, Lord, I see what you did there. Top bantz."

I'm not sure that this particular "bantz", which is also "top", is quite as funny now as it was at 3am on the first night of the aforementioned North Devon Tour, for we had certainly enjoyed much "beer, banta and booze ourselves". Perhaps, however, it will give you, dear reader, an insight into life on the road with the Erratics.

Later, much later, on Saturday morning we travelled to Lynton and the Valley of the Rocks on a scorchingly hot and sunny day. Our skipper for the day, Martin Wright, had earlier been seen wrestling with the problematisation of captaincy - sheaves of paper devoted to a range of options on batting line-ups and bowling plans. For all that, the decisive factor in today's game may well have been down to pure chance - Martin won the toss, and we were able to bat first. It would be a long and very hot afternoon for the Lynton fielders.

Your correspondent opened the batting with Andrew Forrester, and we made a good start, moving at about 5 per over until Andrew was caught behind. I followed shortly afterwards and would like to share the following advice to Erratics batsmen: firstly, do not expect another batsman, fresh to the crease, to be keen on running 2, especially when the second run almost certainly isn't there. Secondly, in the event of a tight call on a run-out, remember the words of Peter Thomson (which I forgot)... do NOT look at the umpire for a decision. With an elbow bloodied from a hopeful dive, I looked towards square leg, there to be given the finger of death by Ben Youngman. Naturally, I do not question the decision at all, but I am left disappointed by the fact that I actively encouraged it by looking up pleadingly (and bleedingly) from the ground.

Merciless also was Martin Wright. Who, having taken guard, stood back and surveyed the field imperiously, and with a certain brooding menace, waiting only until he had everyone's full attention before deigning to make ready to face his first ball. This first ball was dispatched brutally to the boundary, taking with it the fingernail of the brave fielder at mid-off who attempted to catch it, and also breaking the finger in question. It was an unfortunate end to the game for the father of Lynton's captain, who had to go to hospital for treatment. We hope he recovers swiftly.

Perhaps attempting the same towards mid-on, (after bludgeoning many more runs) Martin perished with a swish through the air, in the same way that our middle order departed one by one, until David Shackleton was joined by Fraser Chave. Shackelton provided a masterclass in building an innings, from patient blocking to destructive but beautiful strokeplay. At one stage, it had looked as though we might struggle to reach 200, which did not feel like enough on a good wicket with a fast outfield, but this century partnership with which we finished took us to a much more defendable target, if not an imposing one. Indeed, as one of our side noted, "by the end of the Shakatak, the oppo were well and truly Frazzled..."

After an excellent tea, the hills found themselves alive to the sound of Waldo. Nick Walding's enthusiasm is almost boundless, and he gave great vocal encouragement to Benny-Boy, Matt the Claw (also known as "Trebbs" because of his "trebuchet" bowling action), Harkers, Buckets and others. But more remarkable, perhaps, were the chants from the crowd, many of whom had Mark Hailwood masks and stick-on man-buns, singing their version of the Hashim chant:

Ash-burt,
Ash-burt, Ash-burt,
Ash-burt, Ash-burt,
Ash-burt-on Ash-burt-on
Har-bert,
Har-bert, Har-bert,
Har-bert, Har-bert,
Har-bert-on Har-bert-on

If there are any Erratics reading this who have not been regaled by Mark Hailwood with his tales of derring-do at said cricket grounds, then you have a treat in store. Clearly, the crowd were well-informed.

Sight of the Hailwood masks and man-buns prompted discussion of the potential for other Erratics merchandise. There were suggestions of various bald caps and noses, but next to hit the production line will probably be the "Andrew the White wizard beard, cape and keeper's gloves" (also available in grey.) But I digress...

Among the crowd were a retired headmaster (who had coached cricket) and his wife. On the occasion of his retirement, he had been given a painting of a cricket match taking place at the Valley of the Rocks, but although they had visited several times, they had never actually arrived when a game was taking place. They had had other plans for the afternoon, but on seeing us arrive to play, they had decided to cancel everything in order to stay and watch. A connoisseur of cricket, the former headmaster was particularly struck by the elegance not only of David Shackleton, but rather more by that of Fraser Chave, though he added the caveat that being left-handed does present a batsman with the advantage of natural grace. (Bonjour, Martin Kavanagh of Catus...)

Happily, we entertained these two not only with great batting, but with one of the best Erratics fielding performances of all times, led by Matt Crawford. As I said when reporting on a similar fielding performance at Ipplepen a few years ago, referenced recently by Fraser Chave, "you had to be there". At Bridford a week earlier, we had turned 6 opposition runs into 24 with mis-fields on the boundary, but at Lynton we had safe hands and even dives instead. We were quite remarkable to watch - though perhaps only if you know what we are capable of... No, I don't want to take anything away from our fielding at Lynton, and especially not from Matt who was outstanding and inspired everyone else.

The Lynton batsman largely came and went, though we met stiff resistance from a couple, including Barney, their excellent and very good-humoured captain, perhaps out to avenge his father. Ben Youngman, however, took the edge off Barney's afternoon too, with a delivery on which he was eventually able to comment... "I should have used my bat, not my bollocks". He responded immediately with two boundaries, but was then out.

The initial target of 6 an over had not looked unreasonable. Barney said that it was competitive, and that we had not been rude as visitors to have posted such a score. Indeed, there had been times when the chase looked possible, so the game had not only been friendly (despite injuries sustained) but it had been competitive. When I asked some of my team-mates for comments on the game, they asked me to mention three things:

1. The friendliness and all-round excellence of our hosts
2. The beauty of the setting
3. The fact that this had been something of an epic experience

If you're still reading this, I guess I don't need to worry about reporting at such length. It seems that there's simply a lot to say if you spend four days of your life on an Erratics cricket tour.
Jonathan

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 5 wickets
0
247		        
Andrew Forrester Caught  17 4
Jonathan Kirby Run out  31 6 1
Mark Hailwood Bowled  10
Nick Walding Bowled  19 2 1
David Shackleton Not Out  89 12 3
Martin Wright Bowled  26 5
Fraser Chave Not Out  33 3 2
Matt Crawford   2
Ben Youngman  
Duncan Chave   1
N.O. One  

Lynton & Lynmouth Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
No records to display.

Lynton & Lynmouth Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
 
for 8 wickets
0
164 (36.1 overs)		     
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Nick Walding8.0124124.003.00
Matt Crawford6.0139139.006.50
Mark Hailwood8.0036218.004.50
Ben Youngman8.0145222.505.63
David Shackleton4.00818.002.00
Fraser Chave2.11919.004.15