Scorecard

Eymet v Erratics Cricket Club Erratics on Sat 17 Sep 2016 at 1.00pm
Erratics Cricket Club Lost by 5 wickets

Match report Mark Hailwood reports…

We were never going to win at Eymet. Everyone we met told us as much. Our new friends at Damazan and Catus were in no doubt, and it seemed like everyone from the waitress in the Buzet restaurant to the surly petrol station cashier in Tournon shook their heads in pity at any mention of our upcoming fixture with Eymet (pronounced, we think, 'ay-may'). 'No chance', the Gallic Shrugs seemed to say, 'they are the best team in the South West of France'. I exaggerate for effect, of course, but we set off for game three in high spirits after our rest day, not uncomfortable or unaccustomed to bearing the tag of underdogs.

One wouldn't call the ground at Eymet beautiful, but it did have some distinctive features not generally found on the Devon circuit to recommend it. We parked alongside a towering pink 'fives' wall, and changed in the bowels of a concrete grandstand that overlooked the pitch – and provided shelter from the (admittedly weak) sun. It would have been a great place for an Erratics equivalent of the 'Barmy Army' (if we had such a thing) to belt out football-chant style songs of support ('He's here, he's there, he's every-f*ing-where: Matt Crawford, Matt Crawford', would serve quite well as one such chant I think).

The outfield was notably less treacherous than Catus' mole-afflicted one, but the 1000 Euro job of poisoning all the worms to keep the moles at bay did seem to have sucked some of the life out of the soil, and boundaries along the ground proved hard to come by. It's not an easy job being a groundsman in the South of France it's fair to say, even with the predominance of artificial wickets.

Not that many Erratics troubled said outfield. Captain Cook opted to bat, but Eymet's opening bowler Ahmed – who could move it in or away at a decent pace – soon put the cat among the pigeons, bowling Hailwood with one that nipped in a bit and inducing Cook to edge an away swinger to the keeper. Forrester and Wright looked to consolidate for a while, but it wasn't long before Wright quite reasonably looked to pull a ball which then got big on him late and looped a catch to Martin Weiler at square leg – who was making up the numbers for the opposition. Rarely has Weiler looked so assured under a catch as he did on this occasion, and nor was this the only incident that brought his loyalty to the Erratics into question.

Forrester fell soon after, finally getting a loose delivery but mis-hitting it to mid-on, and we were in deep trouble. The Eymet skipper – presumably desperate to gift us a few runs – then asked Weiler to turn his arm over. But Martin was in no mood to be charitable to his teammates, nor even his roommate – he sent down a head height beamer that rattled off the grill of Mark Phillips' helmet, before dismissing him with a filthy leg side strangle. Crawford and Youngman were also lured into injudicious shots by Weiler, whose resulting celebrations exhibited an indecent level of relish. Shouts of 'Judas' echoed out from the grandstand as Martin's treachery was rewarded with figures of 3 for 25.

Only one Erratic was able to muster any kind of rearguard action as wickets clattered around him, and that was the indefatigable Kirby, who continued his fine form from the Catus game to amass a hard earned 38 not out. Perhaps he was inspired by the prospect of being watched from the grandstand by two old friends from his French Studies days – let's call them 'David' and 'Diana' – who Jonathan had convinced himself were coming along to Eymet for the afternoon for a reunion. Indeed, Jonathan even left the crease midway through his innings between overs to run over to the stand to shout a greeting to said friends, only to be met by a baffled silence as it turned out no such individuals were present. They may have simply been an elaborate sports psychology trick JK had played on himself, but they nonetheless inspired him to bat through the innings and take us to a poor but not farcical total of 91 all out. Thanks 'David' and 'Diana'.

Having refuelled on cheese sandwiches and fairy cakes we took to the field knowing we had little margin for error if we were going to defend such a modest total, and despite taking regular wickets we were never quite able to control the run rate against some very aggressive batting. There was a brief flicker of hope when Cook and Hailwood took wickets in consecutive overs, and we certainly created enough chances to have bowled our hosts out – but most of those chances were mis-hit shots that somehow managed to fall safely between fielders (or, on occasion, safely through their hands) and despite us making a bit of a fist of it Eymet ultimately made it home with a full 10 overs and 5 wickets to spare.

That left us with plenty of time to present our gift of cider and receive some customised Eymet CC wine bottle stoppers – a nice touch – and to share a beer with our hosts, who were another good advert for cricket as an integrative force with their mixed team of English ex-pats and young Bangladeshis. Danny Williamson dished out a long list of fines – mostly to Martin Weiler for his various acts of treachery – and the proceeds paid for some hearty 'farmyard' wine back in Tournon where the Erratics retired for one of a number of highly enjoyable and congenial team meals on this tour, the highlight of which was, I'm sure, another riveting retelling of my hat-trick at Ashburton.

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Batting
Player Name RunsMB4s6sSRCtStRo
extras
TOTAL :
4nb 7w 6b 2lb 
for 10 wickets
19
91		        
Andrew Forrester Caught  10 1
Mark Hailwood Bowled  1
Matt Cook Caught  13 1 1
Martin Wright Caught  1
Matt Crawford ct Weiler 5
Paul Molins Bowled  0
Jonathan Kirby Not Out  38 1
Mark Phillips ct Weiler 0
Danny Williamson Bowled  0
Ben Youngman st Weiler 3
Penny Price Bowled  0

Eymet Bowling

Player nameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Martin Weiler7.002538.333.57

Eymet Batting
Player name RMB4s6sSR
extras
TOTAL :
14w 2b  
for 5 wickets
16
92 (25.0 overs)		     
   
   
Daniel Thistlethwaite Bowled  3
   
   
   
   
Martin Weiler  
   
   
   

Erratics Cricket Club Erratics Bowling

Player NameOversMaidensRunsWicketsAverageEconomy
Ben Youngman5.0028128.005.60
Danny Williamson5.0019119.003.80
Matt Cook7.0021210.503.00
Penny Price2.001300.006.50
Mark Hailwood6.0111111.001.83